


Eternal

by hereonourstreet



Category: Given (Anime), Given (Manga)
Genre: First Dates, M/M, POV Third Person Limited, Past Mafuyu/Yuki, Past Relationship(s), Secret Relationship, Sex Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:00:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23956531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hereonourstreet/pseuds/hereonourstreet
Summary: Mafuyu wonders how things are supposed to work, moving from Yuki to Uenoyama. He has him over one night when his mom is gone and they talk about it - sort of.This is really short but I thought about writing a much longer version sometime soon. Heavy mentions of Yuki but this is Mafuyama-centric. Third person POV for once but if I slipped into second and missed it on my reread, apologies!!
Relationships: Satou Mafuyu/Uenoyama Ritsuka
Comments: 10
Kudos: 114





	Eternal

**Author's Note:**

> i'm never sure how to tag!! i think a lot of my mafuyu writings are going to involve thoughts of yuki but i really ship mafuyu and ue so i want them to make it. i really live vicariously through this ship... if only i'd known i was gay at their age and had a cute crush to learn things with ;A;

Sometimes he still talks to Yuki in his head. Yuki’s words still ring through Mafuyu’s ears; ironically enough, he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to forget them. Memories fade. A day will come that Mafuyu will forget moments that felt so eternal. The adventurous and exciting will become rote and uneventful and the rote and uneventful will be lost to the cavities of time. Stored somewhere, surely, in Mafuyu’s brain - somewhere, buried deep in there, he’ll actually be able to recall the color of Yuki’s sweater - but he won’t see a photograph in his head anymore. All he’ll know is Yuki once told him he’d forget. Everyone forgets. These eternal moments don’t last as long as anyone thinks. 

But won’t there be more?

Uenoyama was nervous when he first asked Mafuyu on a real date - something that was meant to be romantic, where he could actually hold his hand, instead of having to tiptoe around it on silly social media accounts in order to keep the relationship a secret from a public that Mafuyu doesn’t think really exists - the band has fans? That aren’t Haruki and Akihiko’s friends? But Haruki demanded they keep it in hushed tones so they obey and Mafuyu realizes that the only way to have real privacy- so they can hold hands - is for Uenoyama to come to his place. Preferably when his mother is gone. 

“Wait, we’d be all alone?”

“Mhm.” Mafuyu continues writing until he realizes it’s silent. He looks up, expecting to find a very nervous, very flushed Uenoyama. And he does. It’s hard for even Mafuyu to miss his facial cues. “What?”

“Do - do you -  _ want  _ to be all alone?”

Mafuyu’s eyes roll to the ceiling as he thinks it over. He hadn’t considered it, really. He just thought the timing was right: they need complete secrecy and his mother has an overnight shift coming up. He shrugs. 

“I don’t mind.”

“You don’t mind?”

Mafuyu shakes his head. 

“That’s not an answer!” Uenoyama shouts. Mafuyu frowns. 

“Why not?”

“It’s a yes or no question,” Uenoyama tells him and it suddenly clicks with Mafuyu that his anxiety is over what may happen when they’re being romantic completely alone, which hasn’t exactly happened yet. “Do you want to be alone with me?”

“Only if y-”

“Yes or no!”

Mafuyu takes a deep breath. He knows he has a poker face that could kill and usually he despises that. He wishes he could express himself as well as Uenoyama can, but right now, he’s grateful Uenoyama can’t see the sudden panic in his eyes. 

“Yes,” he says finally. 

Uenoyama nearly faints. Mafuyu isn’t surprised. For as chill as he was when they met, he does kind of lose his cool pretty easily. He’s not exactly rash, but he does show his cards in a way Mafuyu sometimes wishes he could. Mafuyu is about to tell Uenoyama to sleep on it but then he asks what time - quite sullenly - and Mafuyu must actually look a bit surprised for once, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t happy. Seven he says, and Uenoyama just sort of melts away, sidles off to the side and down the hallway toward the main entrance and, Mafuyu imagines, dissolves into a puddle right there and reconstitutes at home. 

He’s never recounted his exact feelings from the night they first kissed, but he’s implied he was really walking on air, completely unaware what he’d done until the next morning. Mafuyu would have a hard time believing that if he didn’t know him pretty well already. He totally buys that Uenoyama tuned out completely. Because he knows him. Pretty well. 

Not as well as he knew Yuki. He definitely finds his thoughts halting in their tracks when he wonders if he’ll ever know anyone the way he knew Yuki. If anyone will ever know  _ him.  _ He never had to tell Yuki much; he mentioned what his dad did as a child but that was the nice thing: Yuki was  _ there,  _ he  _ saw  _ Mafuyu’s experiences and he knew them inherently. Telling someone, even Uenoyama, anything more than, “I don’t have a dad,” feels so massive an undertaking that Mafuyu actually bends under the weight of it. That’s something he  _ feels.  _

Then again, Uenoyama never expects anything from Mafuyu - in a good way. He’s likely happy enough to give Mafuyu the time he needs to break under that weight. Maybe it’s not the healthiest way to handle it but Mafuyu doesn’t really know what else to do. In any case, all he needs to worry about right now is if he should change before Uenoyama shows up tonight or if that’ll look too -

He’s not sure. He’s not sure what he’s meant to worry about. What are things in a relationship he’s supposed to think about? Is it bad if he doesn’t care about certain ones? There wasn’t much thinking with Yuki. It was all predicated on the fact that they’d been friends forever. Yuki knew him. Maybe changing his clothes before Ueonyama comes over sends some sort of signal Mafuyu isn’t aware of. Or maybe thinking about it sends that signal. He looks over at his guitar and this time thinks about Haruki- and Kaji-san. Would they have any advice for this? And if they did, wouldn’t they sooner give it to Uenoyama? Aren’t they kind of his? On his side? Are they rooting for him or for both of them? 

It’s more thinking than Mafuyu’s done in a while and he feels content with simply being worried about it. He does change, but only into something comfortable. Jeans and a t-shirt. It isn’t until Uenoyama’s knocking on his door that he wonders if he’s underdressed. 

He’s not. 

“Hey.”

Uenoyama holds up a bag but at first, Mafuyu’s more focused on his state of dress: jeans and a t-shirt. He’s relieved. He wonders if Uenoyama gave it any thought. Probably not. Even though he works himself up over weird things, deep down, he’s pretty collected. Then Mafuyu notices the bag. He’s brought food. Snacks, but still something for them to eat. 

Not that they ever get to it. 

“Do you still think about him?”

It’s been about an hour and it’s not like it’s been completely silent, but Mafuyu wasn’t exactly expecting the conversation to move here so quickly. Do you still think about him? Yuki. Do you still think about Yuki? That’s when he really starts to worry: Is he supposed to say no? Comfort Uenoyama? Tell him he’s the one he thinks about now?

“Yes.”

Uenoyama doesn’t really get that dramatic. In fact, he nods in understanding. Then he looks up at the ceiling pretty nonchalantly. 

“It’s a pretty dumb question. Of course you do. But we’ve never really talked about it.” He sounds so present, like he rehearsed this. “We don’t have to right now. But if you ever want to one day… we can.”

There’s a lot Uenoyama doesn’t know. About Yuki. About Hiiragi, Shizusumi. About Mafuyu’s dad. That’s when it hits him: he doesn’t know that much about Uenoyama, either. They’re both new books to read, with little places the other is going to bookmark to come back to later. There’s going to be bits they don’t really care for, pieces they actually kind of hate and would like to skip over when they can. Mafuyu wonders what parts of Uenoyama he’ll hate. 

“Have you ever loved someone?”

Uenoyama grits his teeth for a moment. 

“No.” Mafuyu gets the feeling he wants to say more, but keeps it to himself. “I haven’t.”

“Would you like to be?”

That’s when he softens considerably, looks over at Mafuyu’s earnest face and flushes deeply. Quickly.

“Guess so,” he mutters. “One day.”

“I told you I liked you at the beach because it’s important to me,” Mafuyu says. “The beach is. I went there with him. But I wanted to be there with you, too.”

He wonders if he’s getting his point across. 

Uenoyama should know by now that expressing himself isn’t his strong point. 

“Did you two ever -?”

Mafuyu knows what he’s implying. He doesn’t have any interest in forcing him to spell it out, so he nods. 

“Yeah.”

“Like… all the way?”

“Yeah.”

“And were you… on… ?”

“Yeah.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“You know what I mean, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Say something other than ‘yeah.’”

Mafuyu thinks for a moment. 

“Do you want to have sex, too?”

Uenoyama chokes, just as Mafuyu thought he would. Though it is definitely entertaining, Mafuyu doesn’t laugh. It’s kind of an important question. He doesn’t want Uenoyama to feel embarrassed. 

“I- I don’t know!” he shouts. 

“Really? Most guys know they wa-”

“Of course I do!” he interrupts. “But you don’t gotta ask it like that!”

“How should I ask it?”

Uenoyama’s lips clamp shut and he seethes a little but Mafuyu is being genuine. Is there a better way to phrase it? Isn’t being forthright the best policy?

“Do  _ you  _ wanna-?”

“Yeah,” Mafuyu says. He doesn’t get as animated a reaction as he’s expecting, which he thinks is a good thing. “If you want to.”

“Not tonight,” Uenoyama says. “But…”

“Eventually.”

“Yeah.”

“Soon?”

Uenoyama pauses… then exhales slowly. 

“Yeah,” he admits. “Pretty soon.”

“Whenever you’re ready,” Mafuyu tells him. 

“Are you, like… wanting it?”

“Wanting it?”

“Did you do it regularly with him?”

“Hm,” Mafuyu thinks about it for a moment. “Regularly enough. He thought about it a lot, at least.”

“And he’s the only one?”

“Yeah.”

“Well,” Uenoyama says, tilting his head back and yawning. “I, uh - I don’t really know…”

“It’s okay,” Mafuyu says. “I can teach you.”

He didn’t mean for it to sound so demeaning but Uenoyama clearly finds it humiliating. That’s when Mafuyu laughs. At his incompetence and how endearing his new boyfriend is when he’s embarrassed. 

Sometimes he still talks to Yuki in his head. He likes to let him know he’ll never forget him. No matter how much Yuki insisted he’d forget, Mafuyu won’t ever let go of him - not completely. But he likes to think Yuki would agree that Uenoyama is cute; he likes to think Yuki would be happy for him. He hopes Yuki knows that to him, he is eternal, but there’s no reason Uenoyama can’t be, too.

**Author's Note:**

> i have a fandom only [twitter](https://twitter.com/5H1R0G4N3) if anyone (over 18) wants to talk given with me (especially ugetsu) because i'm starving, but my [personal twitter](https://twitter.com/hereonourstreet) has some links to more writing of mine (including original stuff!) if you're interested c:


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